This Is It
by Tiffsrae3
Summary: Knowing full well that she was ready to fight for Maxon, she was willing to do anything for him. Whether it be participating in silly, weekly challenges proposed by a king trying to appease his public, or learning to trust Maxon and hoping that the green monster didn't rear it's ugly head. Anxious for the Selection to end, can America be the One, or does Maxon love another?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is a new story of mine. It's in its early stages so please no judgements. The competition at the end of this chapter came to me just out of the blue, and if everything isn't as it should be, please leave a comment. Also, it was supposed to be a one-shot, but i decided to make into a complete story, so i should be updating once a week, maybe, if I'm good. Please don't hate this, it's bound to get better. If there are any typos it's because I typed this all on my phone, so bear with me, please. **

A week or two after my embarrassing REPORT, the four of us were allowed on the broadcast again. King Clarkson didn't want another difficult situation to deal with. He already had more riots than usual and more rebel attacks on the castle, at least one every week. After lessons, Gavrill say us all in a room and announced the outline for our next appearance. "The country would like to see the chemistry between Maxon and the remaining contestants. So, in order to appease this desire, we have initiated a Special segment of the REPORT, in which the Elite will each get to kiss Maxon on camera in front of hundreds of thousands." Knowing people's barbaric views on the Selection, I was sure that this wouldn't "appease their desire" to see the connection between Maxon and us.  
This struck me as odd. I wasn't around for the last Selection, but I was positive that this "kissing" segment had nothing to do with it. It seemed like an invasion of privacy, a very public invasion of an intimate moment between Maxon and myself. I didn't want it broadcasted in front of thousands of people. Let alone even one person.  
"Why?" Kriss exclaimed. I slightly recalled her hesitation towards kissing Maxon. I knew she was saving it for a special occasion, however, if it had already happened, I had no idea.  
"A kiss tells a lot about a person. If they are too impatient, if they are sloppy, if they are demanding. All of these traits are not needed in our future queen." I looked towards Celeste. A few of those traits reminded me of a certain moment between her and Maxon in the castle hallways. Although the memory was a harsh one that I would sooner forget, I knew that the public would see what I saw, and they would finally know just how awful a person she was. She caught my glance and rolled her eyes. It seems she thought the same of me.  
"Does Maxon know about this?" I questioned. It didn't seem like him, to order something so intimate to be shared with the public.  
"The king has demanded it." Finally, that made sense. The Maxon I knew would never agree to this, of course unless his father had something to say about it.  
"And know this, the public will decide who stays and leaves this time. With the riots in the big cities, the king is doing everything in his power to try and please his commoners. Please take this seriously, because it is your future in the balance. That is all, ladies, you are dismissed." And with a flourish he allowed us to leave.  
I took time to think about what he said. It seemed after my REPORT debacle, riots had started to pop up in the cities that had flourishing lower castes. They despised the caste system. The people needed a new hope, and the king was dead-set in his traditional ways. He kept forcing a way down their throat that didn't work and was even more hated than useful.  
"I can't believe this." Kriss declared as we walked though the halls back to our rooms. It was right before lunch and right after lessons, so we had a few spare minutes to ourselves. "It just doesn't seem right. I don't-I don't think I can in front of so many people."  
She looked absolutely disheveled, as if she had received news about a parent passing. But, I felt the same way. I didn't want to lose this challenge, it would mean losing Maxon. I wasn't ready for that, not yet, maybe, even ever. "What am I going to do, America? I really can't lose him."  
"I don't know," I said, somewhat numbly. "But we'll get through this together." She faintly smiled and looked away. "At least we'll be better than Celeste. I've seen her kiss and boy it isn't pretty." I meant it as a joke, but Kriss didn't laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so if this part seems weird, just go with it. Also, I read the Prince after writing this, so now I know that Kriss has no siblings but for the sake of the story, just ignore that little tidbit of information. As always, no judgements please, this is just something to keep me occupied this summer. Read and review but nothing too harsh, please. Enjoy!**

The week passed by slowly. In addition to the "kissing challenge" as I called it, Maxon formally invited the family to come to the palace one last time. As schooling had started, my siblings couldn't make it. As My mother and father were compensated for their missed work, they said they wouldn't miss it for the world.

We were dressed in the normal fashion, ball gowns with jewelry to the max. I remember at first absolutely loathing the glamour that came with the Selection. Now I noticed myself falling in love with its simplicity. It was nice just feeling nice. My dress was blue, just like my first dress on the REPORT. If I was going home, I would go out in a blaze.  
The male siblings that could make it were lined up with their sister. It was a traditional sort of thing, the brother giving away his sister. I walked alone, but I didn't mind. I knew that my brothers were with me in spirit. There were four of us left. Elise, with two brothers, one on each arm, smiling wide and standing tall. She looked remarkably like them, the same black hair and non-aged skin. Then, next was Celeste. She didn't have any brothers, and her two little sisters sat in the audience with her parents. They all held the same better than thou position and I knew it wasn't just a character flaw.  
I was third, walking alone, and proud. I wasn't nervous, well, maybe a little. But I didn't show it. I wouldn't let anyone in the country tell me they didn't want me here. I wanted to be here and that was all that matter. Except for Maxon's, of course. I reached the end, where chairs were placed in a semi circle. The king and queen were seated In their normal place, also, with one aisle down the chamber separting two rows of pews where the parents were seated.  
Last, but certainly not least, was Kriss. She only had one brother, who had the same brunet hair and green eyes as she did. He was somewhat taller than her, dressed in a black tuxedo with a formal, black tie. She wore a emerald gown that accentuated her hips and figure. I was instantaneously jealous. I caught a glimpse of Maxon; he had eye only for her. I wonder if he looked at me like that.  
She was escorted to her chair, then her brother sat in his reserved chair in the front row. The announcer introduced us to the audience, and the crowd was given the schedule for the night. First would be the news and what we did for the week, then the king would speak, then the queen, and finally, the challenge.  
The talking was quick and to the point. The king had nice things to say about the majority of the girls-I didn't mind that he was subconsciously talking about me. Maxon wanted me here and that was all that mattered. The queen talked about how she saw how good friends we all were, mainly, and then the host called Maxon over.  
"You ready, your highness? This is pretty important. And one of the most stressful parts of the Selection. Do you think you can handle it?"  
"I'll try to keep a level head." He quipped. I smiled. I knew how hard this was for him, or at least assumed, and I was glad he could keep his cool under pressure. I wonder if I could ever be that guarded.  
"First we have Elise." From my chair, I could see her jump, slightly when he said her name. Reclaiming her sense of self, she took a deep breath, and walked to the stage. We had rehearsed what we were supposed to do all day. When we were called, we would walk to the front and stand in front of Maxon. We might say a few words, we might not. It depended on the person. Elise stood there, clearly nervous. Maxon patted her shoulder, in a caring manner. He whispered relax and you could see that she did. Then they were kissing. It was short, and sweet, and really not that terrible. The audience would see how nervous she was and show her sympathy. It was over in a moment. But I felt no chemistry between them, only the gentleness that Maxon had towards everyone.  
Next, but most importantly least, was Celeste, who wore a yellow mermaid gown that gave barely anything to the imagination. He began to talk, but she forced her mouth onto his, in what seemed like passion, but looked like force. Maxon was caught off guard, his eyes were still open and he began to blush as he pulled away. She was taken aback by his opposition. She straightened herself, however, and walked back to her chair with a reserved and cocky smile.  
I caught Maxon's eye and I immediately saw a change in his composure. He smiled at me and I smiled back. Tugging his ear ever so slightly, I nodded in agreement, silently saying I would love to see him later tonight. The announcer called my name, and I stood. I wasn't nervous. I had done it a hundred times and I would love to do it a hundred more.  
Walking to him, I was given a vision of our wedding day. Surrounded by family and friends. Him in a stunning suit, me in a beautiful gown. But that wouldn't matter, because it would just be the two of us. And suddenly I didn't care about anything else but that.  
I reached him and he took my hand. I smiled again, looking into his eyes. "You look beautiful." I tried to hide my grin, he was making me giddy for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't seen him all week after her almost kicked me out. Or maybe it was the fact that I was trying to win him back. Whichever it was, I was happy for the first time in a long while.  
"You don't look too shabby yourself, your highness." Ever since the REPORT where I called him by his first name, I have been careful to call him the correct title ever since, but only around the cameras.  
"Thank you. So, how was your week? I've been quite busy with war council and the such. I hear you've been busy, too?"  
"Maxon, are you trying to stall?"  
He chuckled once and looked down at me, "I believe I've been caught. Are you nervous?" He asked, solemnly. I shook my head. He grinned "Me neither." And he leaned in.  
The kiss was better than what they had normally been. Before, they were great, but this time they were wonderful. I could've flown, I was up so high. He placed his hand on my cheek and I placed my hand over his. It was short, but bliss. We broke apart and I but my lip to try to keep from smiling. We made eye contact for one split second before he leaned back in. I was caught off guard this time, which was a good thing. I smiled into his kiss and gently pushed him away. This would be for later, when we were alone.  
I walked back to my chair, and sat. I stated up at Maxon one last time and tried not to smile. He did, though and I gave up on trying.  
Kriss was last, and instantaneously I was jealous. I wondered why he had picked her as last. Maybe he was saving the best? Maybe it was to compare? I had no idea, but I didn't like it.  
She gracefully strode up to him like a queen meeting her king. I also saw her and him on their wedding day, saying their vows and promising themselves to the other. I tried not to stare daggers at her. I really did try.  
Now I knew how Celeste felt about me. Clearly I was favored more to Maxon than she was. She was jealous of me because i was once his favorite. Oh how the tables have turned.  
They only said a few words to one another before he had his hand on her chin, leaning her face upwards. It was cute, I'll grant them that. But in a "I want to stab myself in the eye" sort of way. Adorable.  
He broke them apart. Ironic because she had been the worried one. Now, she was the one who didn't want it to stop, no matter who stared.  
She sat back in her chair when it was all over and done with. Maxon did the same and the announcer said goodbye and goodnight. It was late, around 10 when all was said and done. The king and queen would meet with the parents in the ballroom and discuss things over coffee. All the children would be sent to bed. And the elite, along with their older siblings would be allowed to wander the castle until midnight, as long as they were accompanied by a guard or the prince.  
I wasn't in the mood for chatter. Seeing him kiss Kriss had made me almost vomit. I couldn't handle any one else tonight. I wandered to my room, ordered the maids to leave me alone for the night, and readied myself for bed.  
I was already out of the bath, in nothing but my robe, when I heard a tapping on my door. I had forgotten my date with Maxon. Making sure my robe covered all, I opened the door.  
"Out of all the things my father has made me do, that was by far the most embarrassing. Kiss four girls in front of a hundred thousand strangers? How absurd! I apologize if that was awkward for-" he had come striding in so fast he forgot to even look at me. He hadn't noticed my appearance. Now he did. He blushed. "You're not dressed."  
"No, I forgot about our date and was planning on going to bed."  
He looked away from me as if I was actually naked. "I'm sorry. I'll leave."  
I grabbed his hand before he reached the door. He looked at me as I said "You can't just kiss a girl like that and say goodnight."  
Hesitatingly, he furrowed his brows and frowned. "I'm not sure, my darling."  
"Please?" I asked. It felt like the first time I had ever begged him for something. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."  
Nodding slowly and pulling me into an embrace he whispered, "How could I ever say no to you?"  
And he kissed me. Just like earlier it was a surprise and just like before it was wonderful. He kissed me soft and slow, wrapping his arms even tighter around my torso. I pulled him into me, suddenly not able to wait to be near him. We staggered together over to the bed, not trying to make anything physical but just trying to get comfortable.  
He laid my head down on the pillow and rested his body on top of mine. The kissing continued. It had never been like this with us before. I had expected this sort of passion from Aspen, but to see this from Maxon was refreshing. He kissed me harder and longer.  
We pulled apart for a few seconds to catch a breath. I pulled at his tie, tearing it from his body. Suddenly I just wanted to be closer to him.  
"Darling. Please." He grabbed my hand, pleading for me to stop with his eyes. I understood. It wasn't just the two of us. He had the other girls to think about. He couldn't give himself away like that if I wasn't in it wholeheartedly.  
And I knew I wasn't. Not yet. My heart still somewhat belonged to another.  
"I get it. But don't leave. Not now." He laid beside me instead of leaving and grabbed my hand in silence.  
"I'm not going to leave you, America. I wouldn't do that to you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three! The reviews have been lovely and very helpful, so far. I tried to fix all the problems noted in the comments, and if I miss anything else, please leave me a note! As always, please be kind, and read and review if you can. Don't be brutal and just bear with me. Enjoy!**

He left in the middle of the night, I deduced. I wasn't awake, but in the morning he was gone. A note was left on my bedside table in his scribbled and endearing handwriting.

"You looked too beautiful to wake up. I waited until I knew for sure that you were asleep to leave. I hoped your dreams were sweet. P.s. you mumble in your sleep. Yours, Maxon."

With a smile, I allowed the maids to braid my hair and dress me in a day dress. I would spend the day playing my piano and reading and talking with Kriss. Even though the thought of him and hear brought bike to my throat, she was still my friend and we were in this together.

"Thank you." I said as they finished.

"You're very welcome, Lady America."

"We just want to thank you for the kindness you've shown us."

"And say that you looked beautiful on last night's Report."

"Oh yes, m'lady. The most beautiful one there, if I must say."

"Please." I guffawed. "You three are dismissed for the day." They curtsied and walked out, giggling all the way.

It was hours after they left when I heard them. The sirens. Another attack.

"Oh no." I ran into the hallway and straight into Kriss's room. She was with her maids, ordering them to go down to the kitchens where they would be safe. I grabbed her hand, not saying a word, and pulled her and the maids into the secret passage.

We walked and walked down the stairs until we reached the safe room. The other girls were there already there; Celeste and Elise were busy making themselves at home. Who knew how long we would be down here.

The King and Queen came striding in, regal as always. Queen Amberly smiled dearly to all of the contestants and King Clarkson would much rather we didn't exist at the moment. Or maybe he only wished I didn't exist.

Kriss and I sat on a cot and talked of trivial things. I noticed that Maxon had not arrived yet, so I awaited his safe arrival, unfortunately, as did Kriss.  
They closed the doors. The explosions sounded closer and closer. My breathing became ragged. What of they finally came in? Which rebel group was it anyway? If they were northerners they would just leave the royals alone, but by the sound of gunshots, it sounded more like the south had risen again.

"Where is my son!" Yelled the king to one of the guards.

"He is with a guard in another safe room."

"Can we contact him?" Queen Amberly asked daintily.

The guard shook his head.

"Damn it." The king sounded angry, understandably, but I was sure Maxon would be safe. My sweaty palms weren't as calm as I was pretending to be, however.

Time went by slow, as if I was trapped in an endless limbo. We heard sounds from above, cacophonous of the struggles we were too beyond to comprehend. The queen looked not herself, physically anxious, waiting to hear the news of her son. The king was outraged, red-in-the-face, ready to get out of the prison with no windows.

With a smash that sounded just above where we sat, Kriss gave a jump. "Oh, I can't. I can't take this much longer, America. I really can't stand this. The anxiety, the not knowing if we're going to survive the night, it's all too much. And now we don't know if Maxon's alright?"

I looked at her with pity. Sure, we all had our coping mechanisms, but hers seemed to be breaking. She looked so sad, so small, like a child witnessing death for the first time. I wanted to comfort her in ways that a best friend would but I hesitated for reasons I only attributed to the competition. "I hope he's alright."

I wanted to say "Wow, you care about him a lot, don't you?" But all that came out was: "Me, too."

It seemed like hours when we were finally able to leave. The Queen rushed to the doors, forgetting all decorum and class-the only thing she cared for in that moment was her son. He was outside the safe-room, three guards protecting him from the non-existent enemy. She wrapped her arms around him, weeping into him as he staggered backwards. "Mother!"

"Don't you 'mother' me, Maxon! You had me worried sick. Don't you-"she slapped him on the shoulder, "ever-"she hit his other one, "do that to me, again." She kissed his cheek.

"Mother, you're embarrassing me." He whispered to her, but I was able to pick up the conversation.

"Oh, I don't care if I'm embarrassing you. You could have died." He leaned in, kissed his mother's cheek, and sighed an apology. After his mother let him go, Kriss saw her opportunity and took it. She leaped into his embrace, and started to weep for his safety. "Oh, Maxon, I was so scared for you." He accepted her into him, and apologized for scaring her. I caught Celeste's eye and she strode over to me, confident as ever.

"Now you know how it feels." She said mysteriously. I eyed her, wondering what in hell she was talking about.

"What?"

"Now you know how it feels to not be the favorite." Sighing exasperatedly, I looked at Maxon. Celeste's harsh words shouldn't have gotten to me, I knew that she was just being her normal, rude self. But, they did. I allowed the jealousy to take over me. Maxon and eye locked eyes while he still comforted Kriss. To angry at the caring Kriss and too annoyed at the bitchy Celeste, I rolled my eyes and walked back to my room.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I felt the small tinge of regret.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! It's me, again (finally), and here's a new chapter. I feel bad for not posting for a whole week so I made it longer than I intended. I hope you enjoy it! As always, please review (be nice about it though) or follow or favorite. Thanks!**

The castle was in absolute, unadulterated chaos. Tapestries torn, ragged rugs scorched in places from blazing gunfire, blood splattered on the floors and walls. The other girls weren't far behind me, and I heard a small squeal come from Elise.  
As I rounded the corner, a squadron of castle guards rushed into me, carrying a seemingly lifeless body. I recognized the length of his legs, his narrow torso, and strong shoulders. Aspen. Internally, I was screaming. The unthinkable had happened, and I could do nothing. I had to keep calm, act like nothing was wrong. To the others, he was just another guard; nameless, faceless, anonymous. They had no idea of the times we had shared, of the person he was, and the heart that he had.  
Another guard, somewhat behind the group ran past us. Maxon graciously asked him what had happened to the other guard. "Bullet to the chest. We have to get him to the Nursing Wing as soon as possible. Excuse me, Your Highness." The guard was gone before Maxon could even ask him for more details.  
The Prince came up to me as the other girls walked off, unfazed. "You look as if you've seen a ghost." My believed sense of calm was apparently fake, because Maxon could see it. I tried to shake it off, forget it. He would be fine. He had to be.  
"I-uh I'm fine." I lied. The world seemed to be coming down on me, walls collapsing, floors shaking. My breath was ragged and short. Words did not want to come out.  
"You're not fine. Sit down with me." I had no choice, he grabbed my hand and led me to a nearby chair. "What's wrong?"  
How could I put it in words he would understand? There were too many memories, too many events that made him more than just a face. "It's silly," I began. "He guarded my door."  
I hadn't seen Aspen since the day I was almost kicked out. My heart had been broken, and he said he was still prepared to fight for me, but I wasn't ready for him. I wanted the opportunity to choose him. He was my first love, but I wanted to know if he would be my only love. When I was with him it felt like we were the only two in the world; I didn't care about the fact I was committing treason, and I didn't mind that we had to hide. I loved him when I was with him. But, when I was with Maxon, all my feeling for Aspen seemed to fly out the window.  
Maxon comforted me by patting my back as I sobbed into his shoulder. He must have thought I was crying because the rebels had made it so close to what I considered my safe haven. Although, he was completely wrong, I wouldn't correct him. I had become so accustomed to the rebel forces and their attacks on the castle that I was barely fazed anymore. Don't get me wrong, when Maxon was nowhere to be found I was shook up, and when I was alone in the gardens with them, I was terrified. But, after the fact, nothing could shake me more than Aspen being hurt.  
However, I let him believe that I was scared, because to tell him the truth now would be too complicated.  
Minutes later, with my crying-spell complete, Maxon accompanied me back to my room. It was perfect-just the way I had left it. Bed sheets perfectly made, sheet music ready to be played, and a now cold bath drawn in the bathroom. He kissed me on the cheek before saying a quick goodbye, his father wanted to speak to him, he said. I nodded and shut the door. May was there, with mother and father, and they quickly embraced me as I walked through the door.  
"Oh, America, that was terrifying." May cried; I had forgotten they were even here. I heard a rumor they were supposed to leave this morning.  
"Is that what you have to deal with when they attack?" Father asked. Mother, surprisingly, was quiet.  
"Not always. Sometimes it's better." I offered. I wanted to tell them the difference between the two rebel forces, but that was a secret Maxon entrusted to me, and I was trying to better my secret-keeping.  
"I am so sorry. You know you can come home anytime you like, right, dear?" Father added. I told him there was no way I was leaving now-I had become too accustomed to the food.  
May and father laughed, but mother barely cracked a smile. This wasn't like her. Usually, when I told a joke or did something stupid that everyone else thought was funny, she would fain fake annoyance, but I knew, on the inside, she would be laughing. Now, she seemed distant and angry.  
"Mom, what's wrong?"she looked taken aback when I addressed her. I had never seen her act like this before. She looked at me, and in her eyes I could see that she was scared. She was trying to hide it, but she couldn't. She had never been in the life or death situation before and it terrified her to her core. She embraced me again. And, for the first time I'm what felt like forever, I hugged her back.  
For hours, we talked, the four of us, like we were the same old family. But, we weren't. Dad was graying and he seemed to be getting more wrinkles around his eyes. Moms hair had always been perfect and red but she seemed to be getting some grays too. May was older, taller, almost the same height as I was, and not too long from now, I would be in her shadow. I asked how Gerad was doing and the talked about how he was practicing the piano. He didn't like it, but what could he do. We talked about my performance on the Report-well, May talked, the rest of us smiled and nodded along.  
"It was so romantic!" she swooned.  
"You kiss someone in front if the entire country and see how romantic it is." Quickly, she dropped the subject. Then the topic of the castes was brought up.  
"We meant to ask you: what on earth were you thinking? The castes are very important to our society." Dad added.  
"I was angry. And believe me, I know that now, but I was just so frustrated with everything. I was basically trying to get myself sent home." I admitted, although I didn't want to.  
Mom and Dad reacted the way I expected them to: in complete horror. May was fascinated and shocked at the same time.  
"But when I talked with Maxon the last time-"  
"A lot of things have changed. Things that I won't bother you with, but, in short, we didn't trust each other. And I was positive he was going to make me leave anyway, so why not go out with a bang?"  
"And now?" May asked with an innocent look on her face. God, had I ever been that naïve?  
"Now, I know that he cares for me, but he also cares for the other girls, too. So, I'm trying hard."  
"Really?" May exclaims. "Oh! It's going to be you, I can tell." My little sister grabbed me by the hand and jumped around me. Just once, just for one second, I allowed myself the privilege of wanting to win. Then Kriss walked into the room.  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "The families are supposed to meet downstairs. The cars are about to leave." I kicked myself for letting my guard down-she was my biggest competition in the Selection. Now, if I wanted to win, I had to make sure she didn't.  
"Thanks, Kriss."  
"We'll, I guess this is goodbye." Mom looked better now, no longer silently scared. Instead, she seemed proud. My mother, finally proud of me. All it took was the Selection and a rebel attack on the castle.  
"Don't come home without a ring, okay?" May said it with an extremely serious face, but I knew she was only joking.  
"We'll, I don't care if you come home with a ring." My father added as he leaned in for a hug. "Just make sure you're happy." He kissed me on the cheek as I promised I him I would.  
I walked them downstairs, and all of the other parents and siblings were there, waiting for the cars. The Queen said a few goodbyes. Strangely, the king was missing, as was Maxon. Then, they were gone, along with a piece of my heart.  
The rest of the day passed in a blur. I was too caught up on what my family and I had talked about to deal with any of the other girls. Did they really expect me to win? How could I when I wasn't even princess material?

And how could I focus on anything when Aspen was in the hospital wing, fighting for his life? I knew I had to see him, it just depended on when I could fin the time. When my maids came back I had already decided that I would sneak out of my room at midnight when there were barely any guards on post and visit him.

I had to know if he was okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! It's me again. Here's a new chapter. It's smaller than the other one's but only because it centers around Aspen and I just wanted to get through it. As always, feel free to review if you want to, but please be nice. Enjoy. **

Midnight. My escape had gone as planned: the halls were almost empty to me, and I arrived in the hospital wing briefly. The doctor was gone, home for the night, and Aspen appeared to be the only tenant.  
Aspen, my oh my, my Aspen. How silly you had been, I thought. Crazy, to even like this job. He was asleep and didn't notice me arrive at his bedside. How simple and peaceful he looked while he slept. He looked like nothing in the world could harm him. I wished that was true.  
A simple touch to his hand woke him with a start. He was on red alert-how I hated those sleeps. "I'm sorry, officer ledger."  
"Mer," his voice was pure sighed relief and happiness. Could I ever wish to never hear that voice again? In this moment, I knew that I couldn't. "You shouldn't have come."  
I stared at him in disbelief. "I had to know you were okay." I instinctively said. "Are you? Okay, I mean?"  
He chuckled, but it must've hurt him, because he cringed afterward. "I have surgery in the morning. They wanted to make sure I was stable."  
"How? How did this-" I must've still been upset from earlier, because more tears dared to spring over.  
"I was guarding one of the upper halls with two of my men and the rebels came through the windows. Luckily, I was able to save my friends before they got me."  
"You hero, you."  
"I try to be. For you." He grabbed my hand and kissed the knuckles. I tried not to let him.  
"Aspen." I warned. "Maxon is still..." Still what? Important to me; he knew that. Still the only one I wanted to fight for? Did I even know that? Was that even true? However, the kiss felt wrong. Very wrong.  
But, then again, whenever I was with him, since when was righteousness priority?  
He dropped my hand, exasperated. "Speaking of your Prince." He spat. "He came to visit me today." My eyebrows creased. What? "He says for my act of valor, he wants to give me a medal. It's going to be on tv when I get better and apparently it's a big deal. Do you have any idea why he would do this for little ole me?"  
I knew, of course I knew. It was because of this afternoon. What I had admitted to him by crying. Was there any way he deduced that Aspen was more important to me than most?  
No, he couldn't of.  
"I mentioned you were the soldier who guarded my door at nights. I had seen you being carried off, and I was crying to him. Apparently, he thinks this will comfort me." The idea of Maxon having such high respect for Aspen shook me to my very core. If only he knew.  
"I hate him."  
"Aspen!" I was shocked. No matter how he felt about him, he couldn't hate him. He was the prince.  
"What? I do! He rubs his wealth and power in everyone's face. How can I even..."  
"Compete?" And it was in that moment, that I wasn't the only person competing for the love of someone I cared for. Aspen, who has cared for me much longer than anyone outside my family, was watching me fall for another, and he could do nothing. I pitied him, because that was my situation with Kriss.  
"You don't have to compete for me. In time, if it's right, I will pick you." Just let Maxon pick me first, the back of my mind whispered. But I knew that was wrong. Aspen wasn't my second choice.  
Was he?  
No, he couldn't be. And I wasn't going to make this decision, especially while Aspen was in this state.  
It was way past midnight by now, and I needed to get my rest. The results of the last Report would be up in the morning, and I needed to look my best to possibly be kicked out. I kissed him on the forehead and was making my leave when I heard a grunt from behind me.  
The doctor. He had come back to check on Aspen. Had he seen all of this? Was my tryst finally in the open? Had I finally been discovered?  
I feared that Maxon wouldn't be as nice to me as he was with Marlee; I feared that he would hate me. I had betrayed him-how could I do that? How had I been so stupid?  
"Miss-what are you doing in here?"  
Quickly, I tried to think of something-some lie-that I could tell to cover my tracks. A fable, anything. I needed anything.  
"I was just saying thank you to the soldier who guarded my door. I just heard he was injured." My voice was fast, and I never made eye contact. Maxon had mentioned that the doctor could keep a secret-would he keep one for me?  
He eyes me suspiciously, but seemed too tired to fully care. He urged me to go back to my room quickly, and I asked him not to tell anyone about it. "I'm afraid what others might think. A girl like me, alone with a soldier. It wouldn't be the first time in this Selection that something unfortunate had happened." Again, he looked at me like he really shouldn't trust me, but, he must've thought that, if Maxon could trust me, so could he  
Little did he know, Maxon didn't trust me.  
He let me go, promising not to tell a soul. I thanked him, and was on my way. This next morning would be very important. I had to be ready for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, guys for the terrible upload pace that I seem to be having. I've had a really busy summer because I was getting ready for college, but now that I am completely moved in, expect more uploads! I promise I will finish this one! So let me know if you enjoy this chapter! Please excuse any and all typos, as always, I type this on my phone and barely edit it, so I apologize. Again, sorry about not uploading.**

"As you know, I think of all of you as daughters." The queen had announced a special breakfast just for the girls early in the morning, right before the results were released. It was just us; Maxon and the king were too busy with war meetings for such trivial things as breakfast and food, or so the queen said, slightly bitter. "Unfortunately, only one of you will be my daughter. But, lets not get into that right now. Now, I want each of you to tell me your favorite part of this experience: and it can't be my son." She joked. The queen really was a great lady. So wise and gentle with all of us girls. Having been in the previous Selection, she understood the pressures and feelings we were having. "Elise, you start."

"Well, as you know, I have ties in New Asia. And everyone here has been so nice, considering the war. At home, I was often judged for it." I felt bad for her, in a way I had never felt for her before. I had been starving almost my whole life, but to be ridiculed? As a performer, personally, that was one of my biggest fears. I could never have lived.

"I just love how everyone is so nice." This time Kriss. I almost rolled my eyes at her answer, but the fact that I wasn't that rude and how she was technically my friend stopped me. Of course that would be Kriss's answer. She was always consumed with how nice people were. I guess that was a good thing to be consumed with, but...  
Who knew? I wasn't in the mood for this. Last night was still on mind. What if the doctor told? It didn't matter who he told, just if he did. I couldn't think and the tarts in front of me were making me quite nauseous.

"I like being able to see myself on tv. It's like it was meant to be." Celeste's answer made me want to drive a knife through my skull. How obvious that answer had been.

I had been too worried about the other girls' answers that I hadn't even taken a moment to consider my own. But then it hit me. The reason I had wanted to stay. "Everyone here has my best interests in heart.

Not only Maxon, but you, too, Your Highness. You want all of us here to feel at home and to be happy." Not much different from my own family.

She smiled and thanked us for our kind answers. "Many, many, many years ago when I was in the Selection, I was not unlike the four of you. I loved Clarkson with all of my heart, and I wanted him to love me. And he did. I just had to stay patient. You four are doing so well, it makes me cry when I have to think about all of you leaving." I was reminded when her sister came to the castle, and how she said the queen had had a miscarriage. "But, it makes me happy, as well, because my son is one step closer to finding his one true love."  
I could see Elise and Kriss internally sighing at what the Queen had just said. Celeste and I looked at each other and she rolled her eyes.

Two months ago I was his true love. Two months ago, he was prepared to propose and two months ago I was prepared to say yes.

So much had changed-another girl held his heart and he no longer trusted me. His father, who had a huge play in Maxon's decisions, now hated me, and I was unclear how his mother felt. The country was almost shattered thanks to my stupid mouth and inability to keep a secret. And, to make matters worse, I still was unsure how I felt towards Aspen. Last night had made it very clear to me that I was not completely over him yet. But how long could I keep going back and forth between the prince and the guard?

Our heart to heart was cut short when the dining hall door opened to reveal the prince.

"Good morning, ladies." He sang as be strode into the room. He wore a blue, tightly-fitted suit with a blue tie and black, shiny shoes. He had circles under his eyes like he hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Poor thing. He held in his hand, a sealed envelope with extensive cursive on the front that read "results." Oh no. It was time.

"Good morning." We said simultaneously.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, here." That could only mean one thing: that he was satisfied with the results. Unfortunately, that ruled Kriss out.

My heartbeat quickened-could I have spent all of this time, produced all of this effort just to have it slap me in the face? Could this be the rejection I was not looking forward to?

I gripped the handle of the spoon in my hand tighter. And as he opened up the envelope-it seemed to already be open-I held my breath.

"I'm sorry, Elise." He said, although his apology did not sound completely genuine to trained ears.

She stood up, tears starting to fall down her face, and rejected the hug Maxon so graciously offered. As she stormed out of the room, her voice broke and cracked into a million wails.

She was truly heartbroken.

I had forgotten that not only my heart was on the line.

The prince followed her, but not before turning to the rest of us, excusing himself, and conveniently tugging his ear.

"Ahem." The queen cleared her throat as we all struggled to maintain class. Celeste was bursting at the seams from laughter, and Kriss's eyes were glued to the door Maxon exited from. I was still in awe.

Everyone knew it was going to be Elise next. There was no chemistry, and although her family had ties to New Asia (which she wouldn't let anyone forget) the choice was clear. Even the entire country knew it.

But part of me tried to see it from Elise's point of view. Here she was as a girl who had made it this far, given her heart to a man that seemed to, although platonically, love her. She had the crown and the marriage practically in her grasp, only to be cut before the rose could bloom. She saw through rose-colored glasses that there was a romance, and at least Maxon liked her or he wouldn't have kept her around for so long. She was jaded. And not only that, but she had been humiliated by everyone being there when she was cut.

I had never liked Elise, but in that moment I felt pity.

"Who wants more tea?"

The remaining three of us nodded our heads.


End file.
